Anniversary. . . Cometh and Goeth

Diary - Entry 19

One month ago, at four o'clock in the moring, my brother died, yet, in some respects, it seems like only yesterday. Does anyone realize or care. . .other than me, that is?

You know, it is amazing to me that when you are a kid, with your first serious boyfirend. . .you think one month is a long time for a relationship.  Then you make the one year mark and time has flown by.  That One year becomes 5 and before you know it you are celebrating a 25th anniversary, maybe longer. . . but the realationship that you share with a sibling. . .no matter the time span, is unequivicable to that of any other.

I use the word, "celebrating" because that is what this should have been. . .a celebration of Todds life, not hiding him away like some dirty, shameful secret.  I loved my brother and I will continue to love him and honor his memory by continuing to write about our lives together and apart. 

The Trouble With Moods. . .

Diary - Entry 18

Well, by now I am sure that most of you realize that between the stress, anxiety, depression, and screaming about what is wrong with people and why cannot everyone do the right thing by each other, our partners, our children and our friends.

You know, I am pretty certain that  The Ten Commandments really do exsist.  I am also pretty sure that my family has broken all  of them in some way, shape or form.

With that in mind, I sought the help of my family doctor (who is without a doubt, the most incredible fdoctor I have ever had) put me on meds that have stabilized my moods, helped with the deep depression, and anxiety. 

If you are to the point where you need medical intervention, as I had gotten because the pain and grief is so intense, please do so.  While everyone is different.  .we are all children of the origal Ten Comandments.