Disillusion, Divorce and The Division Of Assets. . .

Diary - Entry 32

Tonight, I am listening to a compilation of Celtic music called "The Scottish Moors" and having a second glass of wine.  After my husbands traveling the last three days, I went out and spent the afternoon at the spa.  I had the most wonderful massage, along with getting my nails and tootsies done.  I felt good for a while and very relaxed, until I got home that is. There is always peace in the house, while he is traveling, but once he returns home. . . all hell seems to break loose.

Anyway, at some point I need to finish up with Jay and move onto the next segments/chapters/whatever this is. . .

The day our son was born, is a day that is a fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday.  Hayden spent nearly 26 hours trying to come into this world, finally, he was delivered by C Section.  My doctor later told  me (I was his first patient - fresh out of residency and so on) ] he had never seen such a huge baby trying to fit through a pelvic span that hip bone to hip bone only measured 14 inches wide.

Hayden came out with a terrible "Cone head", the cord was around his neck and he was the size of a three month old baby.  Once they wrapped in some type of foil to retain his heat and put a hat on, they let Jay hold him.  I was asleep during the operation and thankful for it.

Many hours later, when I finally woke up.  They brought Hayden to me.  When I saw him, I started crying. He was so big, so swollen, bruised and he looked like a dwarf.  I told the nurses that they had brought me the wrong baby. . .  I said, Dr. Jennings said the baby would weigh around 7 lbs, according to the measurements he had taken that morning.  Apparently, I was carrying most of him in my back.  He weighed almost 10 lbs and was almost 2 ft long.

We had to return all the baby clothes that we had been given for newborns because they did not fit.  We had to go into 6month clothing.  Jay and I used to lay Hayden on the floor and change his clothes 5 or 6 times to see how everything looked on him.  That was a happy time in those early days of our marriage and parenthood.  Jay helped with Hayden, the housework and still went to school.  We traveled back and forth so all our friends and family could see him.  Yet, the novelty of a new baby, new responsibilities and so forth, did not keep Jay home long.  He was back to his old ways.

On one of my trips home, Jay had not come with me, I only stayed the night and went home on Sunday.  When I got home, Jay wasn't there, so I fed, bathed and put Hayden to bed.  I was pulling up the side of his crib when I saw something dark under the crib against the wall.  I bent down to pick it up.  It was a pair of women's jeans and they were not mine.  I put the night light on and stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind me.

When Jay finally did come home. . .I hit him with the jeans.  He said he had no idea who's they were and he must have picked them up at the laundromat by accident.  I said "oh, then how did they end up under our son's crib?". . .  He stammered, turn red in the face and I knew right then and there that we where through.  I screamed at him, "how dare you bring  your whore into our house, into our bed and then stuff the evidence under the bed our son sleeps in". . . I hit him again for all I was worth.  The next day, I packed up and my son and I went to visit my mother in Michigan.  I was there almost 3 weeks, when he knocked on the door.  He asked me to come home, said he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again.  Yeah, that was the same story I heard the next time that Donna Rector called.

After that, I left him for good, or so I thought.