I was only joking. . .

Diary Entry - 33

If nothing is what is seems, where the fuck does that leave me?  I am listening to my mother's LP's that I have converted to cd. . .the main topic. . .Rod Stewart.  You would be amazed at the difference between LP and CD. 

Anyway, it wasn't the quality so much as time era.  My own time "era" has changed in my lapse of writing since September.  Had time been on my side, along with Billy and Patty, perhaps. . .my own point of view would not have been changed.

Death, no matter how you look at it. . .changes you and those around you. . .those that really cared, anyway.

This particular LP, reminds me of my mother and her incessant and compulsive need to be. . . .even in death, that bitch controlled every fucking thing about it. Hence, while it was my least favorite of all his work. .  . it did hit home the voracity of parental influence. . .or to some of you. . .lack of there of.

All this was brought home to me in the modern version of "Black Swan". . .

Yes absolutely, Natalie Portman was, incredible.  For everyone who has ever lived with an over bearing, Psycho, manipulative, narrssistic, yet under-achieving mother. . .this is a movie for you.....  After you see it, run, don't bother packing your bags. . .send her a post card from Montazuma. . .

Am I fucked up. . ..absofuckingloutley. . .do I want to run naked through the streets of Memphis. .  where my mother was  a debute, who loved Elvis and believed that every family should have one.

I have been brought to my knees, pulled myself up and landed on my feet more times than a cat has lives... why, because you, haven't seen the last of me. . .  Survivors, we all share the same mark.