Here's To This Year's Hellish Holiday. . .

Diary - Entry 21

I am not in a good mood today.  I have been sleep deprived for sometime now, not getting my normal, unbroken hours. . .really messes with your mood.

I realize that while I only did 60 hours over 10 days and I will work 3 doubles this week in addition to preparing for inventory on January 8th, by the time Christmas eve came. . .I was filled with disgust for mankind's cheapness, sense of humor and the fact that they are alive and don't appreciate it but want to give their 'baby mamas' sterling silver engagement rings. . .my job, truly sucked this year!

With the impending New Year, I find that I am filled with dread, anxiety and wishing I could claw my way out of my own skin.  If I am not forced to go to work, I don't go out at all.  I just cannot be bothered being polite to strangers and having to carry on inane conversations just for the sake of good manners.  We were supposed to go out for New Years Eve, but I cannot muster the 'git-r-done' (as Todd would say) to do so.
Maybe by the time the Burns Night Ball arrives I will be in better shape.

As patrons of the Memphis Scottish Society, we have a dinner dance/ball to celebrate the life of Robert Burns.  I look forward to this from a heritage standpoint, but when I think about the Haggis and pudding, the only thing that comes to mind is Todd vomitting black blood and bile.  I just cannot wait. . .ughhh!

Since I cut off all my hair after Todd died, I won't have to fool with my usual hours spent doing my hair and although I had planned on wearing a red ballgown this year with my Clan plaid, I will wear my black silk faille ballgown instead. . .if I even end up attending.

I am beginning to babble so, I think it is time to sign off for today.