War Of The McFarlands

Diary - Entry 11

Back and forth they would go, sometimes my mother would leave, sometimes my father would leave.  At some point in time, someone has to say "STOP".  That someone was my grandparents on my mothers side.  They were realativly normal, when you consider all that we had been through up to this point.  We went to live with them and attended Lamar Elementary in Lamar, Missouri.  Those were some of the best times. 

We went to school on a regular basis, but Todd found it increasingly difficult to socialize because he stuttered so badly by this time and he was painfully shy.  He did not stutter with me, when we were alone, only when the outside world interferred.  My mother was rarely 'home', as she had taken a job at the local country club as a bartender and her social like was such that she sometimes didn't bother coming home at all.  She was always done up in her mini skirts, boots and hairpieces piled high.  Things ran much smoother when she was not in the picture.

Papaw was a rancher in Missouri.  He had cattle, pigs, a stocked fishing pond, chickens and gardens.  He taught me to heard and cut cattle, slaughter pigs and catch fish.  Todd, bless his heart, did not share my enthusiasm for such sports. We took him fishing and when he would catch something, he would turn to Papaw and beg him to put the fish back, when we killed, drained and gutted a pig. . .he would vomit.  He just could not stand to be cruel to anything.  My own son, who is now ten, reminds me alot of Todd in those ways.  He won't eat meat, he cannot stand any kind of cruelty (he even makes me catch bugs and put them out of harms way!) and has a bleeding heart for anything homeless or in need of adoption.

Papaw understood Todd as well and never made fun of him, never undermined his sensitivity and he was always there with a hug.  He was a big man over 6'2 and looked like the rest of his brothers and sisters. . .a large family of 10 that had called Kosciusco, Mississippi home. Mamaw was a hairdresser and nurse.  She, like my grandfather put us first for a change.  Those were some of the happiest times, but they were not to last. . .because my mother, as usual. . .had to screw everything up.